Hey everyone. This week is starting out as quite literally 'one of those days'. And I really feel like venting some steam on something.

Monday was not all that bad. Had school, then headed down to Plaza Singapura with Nick Yue, Ke Li and Shaun where Shaun talked to Ke Li and I about some stuff. And after that we hung round for a bit and then we left. When I got home, I just felt like going to slack. But I had homework to do, so I dragged myself to do them. After all was done and well, I just came on MSN and chatted. After all the conversations, I felt like a useless bugger and a lousy person. So I just went to sleep and made a decision to just give up.

Today, I woke up fine and all. So I just went to school, usual stuff. Had to put up with antics on the class. When I look around, I really can't believe the maturity level of people in my school. If I could use one word to describe the jokers there, it would be 'idiots'. Simply definition of an idiot is an uneducated person. I guess it is alrdy kind of a lenient term to use on them in this case because some just refuse to act like normal people. They act like bloody animals, making me wonder why I didn't appeal to ACS(I) when I had the chance so that I could be around normal humans for a change. So anyway, after school was over. I headed to Bishan stadium for NAPFA 2.4km run. It was raining and we were hoping that the rain would be able to call off the run. But it subsided and the run went on anyway. I managed to pass with a timing of 13 mins and 32 secs. I was surprised when most people passes 2.4km and only a few failed this year. I guess everyone gets fit by 16, hmm...wonder why? Preparations for Poly and JC? Haha. And after that I hung round a bit to talk to some of my friends and took a ride from Kenneth to the bus-stop at Serene and took a bus home. And I just fell asleep after my bath. Then Jos smsed me and played a prank on me, and I just went along with it cuz I was sleepy and then noticed my mistake when I was sober. Now I feel like a completely hopeless person. Pathetic to no measurable extent. *sigh* I hate my life, everyone says I have 'talents'. Yea right. I suck at art, my acting is horrible, my grades are simply crap, my hobbies are useless and fun to insult...what else is there? Family? Friends? What are those apart from people who manipulate you and leave you high and dry after gaining their benefits? I never got to know, and I guess I will never get to know. Why try so hard? So what if others put you down when they are right? Prove yourself to them? Only if you have the ability.

That vision I had when I was a child. Where is it now? How do you find your goal in life when all people do is show you how helpless you are in what you do? They say: 'Prove that you are better than what they think.' Prove? How? By getting good grades? By earning money? By winning them in competitions? There is no possible way that you can prove yourself a better person when someone has a fixed impression of you as inferior. No matter how hard you try or improve. That's how life goes. And the most ironic thing is that humans are the 'kings' of the earth, yet they are unbelievably weak in all aspects. Now where is my purpose to fulfill? Maybe I don't have one. Maybe all I am is just another person who is thrown in this place to suffer. What's the point of trying so hard..

Alright that's all for today. I am tired of trying hard, maybe I should just let go of myself for a bit. Get my mind back together rather than to just go with a 'programmed' system in my head. Cya round.