Hey everyone. It is the calm before the storm, and the darkest before the dawn. 1 day till the LAST paper tomorrow. Then FREEDOM for 6 weeks!!!! Apparent freedom, not real freedom. (:

Had a stupid convo with Jerry in school today:

Me: My water tastes funny...
Jerry: You think?
Me: You must have slipped something in when I was away right?
Jerry: Yea I was feeling horny so...
Me: ...I was away for less than a minute
*laughter erupts*

Well, another 15hours to go! I can do it!!!!! XD Gonna start studying with Sharon and Jerry on MSN now...can see how that is going to work out. :P

I've started to try studying ILP alrdy. It doesn't seem that hard, just very content heavy. All the theories of Piaget, Erikson, Freud, Vygotsky...with all the addition biological parts. These people are definiteyl sex-deprived, phidophiles who find it a pleasure to put kids under experiments and studies....sheesh. Ah well...no way I'm gonna be able to escape it anyway. I feel sad for everyone who is really stressing out. I mean it is just a paper with like font 12/14 words on them for you to respond to. The grade in the end is really just a bonus gauge of yourself. Is it worth it for a paper to determine one's worth? I guess that is how it is so in Singapore. Hahaha, such sad existence. And they want to BREED creative minds. HAHAHAHAHA, what a JOKE!! XD

There are bigger things in life.

I've been improvising a lot of stupid songs lately. They are all really crappy but super funny if you get them. Hahaha, I find those things fun to do to destress. I do have too many hobbies. And now the super yoyo craze is back with the kids. Kinda funny looking at my brother trying to learn yoyo tricks when I was doing the same thing as him like...7 years ago. When he was born. Trend does have this funny way of repeating itself. And fame is given to those who can make it stop repeating for a moment? The culture is so entertaining.

Things to do during the holiday:
1. Earn Money.
2. Catch up with friends. Lunch with AC people
3. Improve on my guitar skills. Hopefully exponentially.
4. Be nice to my parents. :P
5. EYBS performance.
6. HPB project.
7. Write an original, no matter how shitty.
8. Outing with COMPERES people.
9. Class outing for DADPians.
10. Learn how to play bass? Maybe, just a passing whim.
11. Move house.

Haha, I have my holiday outline out alrdy...even before it has started. I really should get back to studying now. Ciaoz.

Back!!! And I AM HELLUVA ENERGISED....actually quite tired too. But it felt great to go swimming again today. Hahah, haven't been to the pool for such a long time. I felt a bit queer going back into Queenstown swimming complex. But it was so clean this time. LOL...

Anyway, had a little song writing session today with Jerry before we went swimming. Lol...had a lot of crappy lyrics and funny stuff.
The "I am writing a song" song:
"This is so annoying, I'm trying to write a song
yet I am stuck with nothing, lyrics are all gone
G....
D....
E minor 7...
C add 9...
No it isn't collide...
lalalalalalala~~~~ "

LOL, mess ups of songs. In the end we started to just laugh at all the dumb improvised songs that came up. Weird lyrics and what not...sheesh, i'll do better as a joke rather than a musician.

Sigh, I missed this place...



The Diving Pool, the memories...lol

Hmm....camwhored a bit too...I was bored. Sue me. Bleagh.




Still fat. Lol...

Ciaoz people, will update soon.

Replies to tags:
yanhan- Thanks!!!
DUCKIE:] - Hahaa....okay...
shaun - Replied on your tagboard. Lol....

Hey guys, sup? I finished my IP paper alrdy and it was pretty alright I would say. (: A lot of bullshitting on my part. Hahahahahaha, anyhow whack answers.

Anyway, I wanna just jolt down some thoughts on my blog. Seems like a lot of stuff happens within a short period of time. Random thoughts flying in my head. I need to buy new strings for my acoustic guitar, although it is technically Ivan's and mine is with him. But still, it works. I want to find someone to practise with in making music...I need a teacher too, but cannot afford one. :P Although Wei Sheng is a great mentor. Well, and then what if I could do better in certain aspects of my life? What if I could be fitter physically? What if I was more charismatic? What if I was a natural talent rather then a normal kid. What if. one of those questions everyone will no doubt ask themselves, then either take actions to do it or let it haunt them for the rest of their lives. What if I lived my life out to satisfy the possible what if's in the future? Would that be much of a live? I think it would cuz that way I would have secured the last stage of Erikson's theory. Well, I want to dream big and make it big. Not let anything get in between me and my dreams. But is that worth crushing someone else's dream? Ripping through people who stand between me and my goal mercilessly, just to achieve self actualization? Is it worth all the people who are going to be torn apart in the process? Hmm...maybe I am to narrow minded, then again maybe I am too over concerned about what others think. Ironic, that the world values those who are different. And then set standards for what kind of difference is good or bad. People are judgemental, whether they confess it or not. I have gotten over the fact that people don't put me in good light. Although it affects me, what I don't know can't hurt me. Why should we care what others think? Yet, there are laws to follow and the only way to get around them is through power. Society has norms but set people apart to celebrate them for their difference. I envy actors, especially A listers. They are the few human beings who can keep their sanity under the scrutiny of society and the scorn of the human mind. I can't be bothered about their wealth. They are people who are just like us, put under the grill because of difference....end of the train.

A look into my mind? Hahah, it comes out in pictures and dialogue too though. :P

Hey everyone!!! It has been a really fruitless weekend. I didn't really revise much. ):

But hey, I went to go watch Salusuah with Jerry.

It was a refreshing experience. My first true dance performance in a theatre. I was blown away by the expressiveness of Gani's dance moves. And at the end of the whole performance, I learnt that it was his life story. And it was something that was personal and close to him. The reason why I found it so refreshing is because it was very local. Yet, it did not come across as unprofessional or hard to understand. Esp if you take it from a foreigner's point of veiw, the interpretation of the dance could be linked to thailand, bali and etc... I liked the Singapore flavour in it, making it individualistic and unique.

Well, the rest of the weekend was kinda wasted away. I still need to study for intro to psychology...Worried or not? I am kinda in between. Worrying at times, yet can't be bothered mostly. Bad habit of procrastinating.

Why is it that humans aim for the ideal of monogamy, but are built to experience a desire for polyamary? A man/woman is judged and critisized by society if he/she has more than 1 lover after marriage. Yet, science seem to state that the naturalistic behaviour of a human leans towards promiscuous characteristics. Just another one of those choices for man. It seems God does put man in a position of a whole load of power...this is one of those things that can change the life of a person, positive or negative. Sigh, in these times I gotta guard my heart. (:


A joker's love. A fool's rejoice?

Search my heart, find my soul, keep these words, love lorn's lost.
Sheesh, I need to lighten up. Anyone up for starbucks?

In tune, out of tune. What if I am tone deaf? How then do I fall back in tune with what the music is playing? Hmm...we wonder what happens when things don't happen on the beat.

"If you could do anything in the world and be sure that you will not fail, what would you be?"

I would want to be a brilliant public speaker, stand up comedian, actor and theatre director. With a huge portfolio of works that will come to be renowned. That's my dream. I don't know how much I want it yet. But I want it to happen. Means I am going to have to work for it. Tough road.

Anyway, today's Voice assessment didn't go great. I did well, but not great. ): Sigh... And the facilitation at CHIJ Toa Payoh was alright. Average. We had to fight with the rain for attention and sound. Wasn't nice. It was like back in one of those bad classrooms in the secondary school where my attention got dissipated. And I learnt quite a lot from Stacey and Wee Peng, the year 2 seniors. (: Fruitful trip. But tiring.

My journals are ALL IN. I now do not hold my fate. It is up to the lecturers now.

Me as David, the Heartbreaker. In DD assessment, ABUSE.

Ciaoz.

Sup guys...Quick update...

Skipped going to school today, since it was only to go for IP to do reading and revision, to do journals. And I am pleased to announce that since 9 am - 9.30 pm. I have successful written...6 entries. Sigh...and I have been in front of the computer for the whole day. I really want to finish this by tonight. Life is so full of surprises...

I got chosed to go do a facilitation with the seniors and my classmates at CHIJ TP. Sigh, seems like I am going to be in for a rough ride. I hope the convent girls are nice and listen well. Lol...who am I kidding?! Ah well, buckle up and go for it.

I wanna get the CAs over and done with...still need to study for IP and ILP exams. 25th August and 1 September respectively. Sigh...I need to study and read up on Kohlberg's theory and schizophrenia. Haven't been paying attention much in lecture and this is what happens. ):

WELL, BACK TO JOURNALS.

WAAAHHHH HHHOOOOOOO!!!!!

Yea!!! Devised Drama is FINALLY OVER!!! And it was a great end to the hardwork we all put in. UMBRELLAS!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! And we managed to get our objective across too, total awesomeness!!

Well, today was hectic and all. Haha, rehearsals were mad. First run through with Italian...super speedy gonzalez. Hahaha, I felt David rise as a more reasonable character and played accordingly. (: THE PLAY WAS TIGHTER THEN EVER!!! Making it flow really well, everyone really thought about their characters I suppose. A few tweaks got it right. And we performed first. Given that, the result we got, I say is commendable and well deserved. Although the props were loud and hard to move, we did it! And secured a High B!!! Now on the journals for that Distinction/A!!!!

Well that's the good part of the day.

And now, I have someone avoiding me. Over....well, facebook wall posts?!....Sigh, maybe it is my fault after all. ):

Tags:
Ning- OH WALA WALA....seen the place. Wanted to go in before...lol. EIC? Jack and Rai? Haha didn't know they had and alternative band name.

Hey people, today is the big performance day. Currently at theatre@ moberly. Sweating like hell and eating Sambal fried rice. Lol...

Sigh, talking to people. And teaching a 15 yr old girl how to write erotic poems? I'll burn in hell for that. Sigh...Haha, well living it out before eternal doom sounds okay to me. :P

Haha, NERVOUS AS HELL. Sigh...hope I can celebrate later.

Ciaoz

Hey people, what's up?! I've been really busy lately with rehearsals for devised drama. Stayed over in blackbox too. Anyway, here is a quick update on what has been going on.

For devised drama, I am playing David. A jerk who flirts with girls, but gets emotionally abused. Although he is also kinda sexually & physically abusive? Lol...and well that's a summary to pimp my character a bit.

Results for AD CA2 is out...I got a B. ): Not what I expected but it'll do. But my ILP presentation was a bummer with 5.5/ 10. I guess we really lacked content and I wasn't really good with time management of the presentation. So I accept my failure on that part. Still that isn't going to get me down. It ain't the end of the road, I still have other assessments to bring my grades up and I will not miss the opportunity to do so. (: So please pray for me!!!!! And I am going to have Voice assessments this week, presentation and monologue. Hope I pull it off well and be at expectations. (: Possibility of acing it. Will not let it go to waste.

Now for random banter, I have recently seem to get addicted to the local indie scene. Listening to D'Fusion, Jack and Rai, Daphne Khoo...etc....seems like Singapore has a decent number of good artistes. If only the fan base was bigger and America's technopop did not have such a huge amount of influence, we could actually have a singapore "sound". I am still gonna give a go at songwriting, although I ain't that good at it. :P Ah well.......

Cheers people!!!



















































Hey Joscelyn.
I love you.
(:

Hey guys! I'm still alive. Gosh, after the mob at Marina on sunday I probably shouldn't be able to stand. But thanks to my many layers of fats and rugby training prior to secondary school, I made it out.

Here is the crowd:


And the marching band...






These guys are fast...

Anyway, I caught UP and The Hangover over the long weekend and they are awesome movies. Both movies were hilarious and now I can't stop doing the impersonation of "Dug" from UP. I kinda wish I have a mad bachelor party like the guys in the Hangover, but I doubt I have that much cash to go shooting up round in Vegas. Lol...overall the weekends were great for me.

Sigh, this will be a short post cuz I am tired from P Arts...I am robot guy. (:

Hey people! The week has come and gone and the exams are drawing nearer.

Well, it has been an okay week. I cleared up some stuff, found how supportive my friends around me are and I really appreciate them for it. (: I love ya'll both from DADP and Comperes! <3

Ehhhh.......

Lol...Jerry

Beatrice the ghost!....eeee!!!!

After this lecture was the NDP observation ceremony. It got boring at the end but the emcee was entertaining enough. (: Haha, had a great time and met a new friend. Esme from DMC. I feel patriotic...not really but good enough for me to wanna wear red and white today. Lol...

Anyway...today's DD was epic. Hahaha, had the lesson on how to directly flirt. Be open about it and obvious. Had tips from Su...-.-'' Well, it seemed to work out fine after that. Had council fiesta meeting...super tired...

Anyway a shoutout to......




Amanda Chng and Shirley Tan!!!!

HAPPY SEXY 17th!! And lets not be cliche at 17.

That's all folks!

Sup peeps! I'm quite tired. Words...they make up 7% of communications. But I still can't get that right. Sigh...

Anyway, was doing filming yesterday with the DMC seniors...I didn't really do much. Mostly just watched Carin do her thing. Here are the pics...


Shooting at Haji Lane











Carin doing her thing

Busy little street...-.- *crickets*

Look ma! No laptop!

Puny thing

Tablet mode

Shooting





The Coffee Nations, love that place. Nice ambience too.

Had work to do too...so in the end I was in the house for about 20 waking minutes. the rest of the time I was either not there or sleeping. Sigh...

More pics from Vaanie's b'day party!


PARRRTYYY!!!!!

Tree climbing...lol

I love my life. I accept it. I embrace the joys and sadness. A life isn't a life if you are always in a safe little bubble of friends and people you know all the time. Words spread around, stories are told. Fiction gets put to play, facts get put to dirt. Actions are the basis of the drama in life. Actions are what people see and feel. From there a stem grows as they speak to pass time. Words become exclaimations. Assumptions become reality. The false becomes the public truth. Conformity is a frightening thing isn't it. We all preach individualism, yet conform to the norms of culture. Who truly fights for what he believes in nowadays? Those who do, how many end up being able to say: " I was not condemned. I was loved by everyone. I never got put down." 7% will not get me down.

Try this, take a walk in my shoes


Then look up


And I assure you. After all that, you will still be unable to see what I see. Hear what I hear. Know what I know. Feel what I feel. Taste what I taste. Because empathy has its limits. Outcasted and alone, you can ridicule me and put me to shame. I would have nothing to lose. And I will have the clearer picture. These shoes, willingly walk through thorns in hopes of carrying a dying spirit. And this veiw, it tells of hope and a beauty that is so simple people take it for granted. Small actions are what counts, flashy words don't mean a thing. A beautifully strung sentence, will always remain a sentence. Unless someone acts on it.

An assumption, as taught to me, is 84% inaccurate. Quips and sentences, made up by 84% irregularities...hmm...you do the math and tell me how much truth is in it. "Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone." I am not that noble. I say, "Let the one who needs a place to vent their anger cast the first stone." DUH. I'd dodge, but the point is that people feel better. Maybe this is my first step in understanding how to love people? If so, my breakthrough is near. Amen!

Words won't break my day. I want to be educated, not schooled. And my next step starts from here.






"People always forget, after you fall and take the step up. No matter how small, you have made PROGRESS."

I'll catch up some other time!

TAGS!
Darice: Thanks Darice, for the support. (: I'm still trying to find my way back to God...I think I got too busy. But I believe that eventually he will still be there, where I didn't think he would be cuz it was just too close to think about.
ning:Thanks NING!!!! Lol, yea. I have been depending on my own energy...burning out. You're right! I gotta find rest in Him!!!
Cloud: My parents sold our current house la. Haha, but yea. I can't wait to start learning how to plan my life without second thoughts. Having my own house might allow me to see how I really HAVE to plan my expenses.
Shaun: Thanks man. (:

Hey all, I need to start updating more regularly but my schedule doesn't seem to allow it.

Anyway things have been going well for me this week. I mean, I've been busy to my neck but it hasn't reached the point where I have to choose one thing over another. Now I need to focus and get my game into writing up all my journal entries for DD and Voice, while studying for ILP with notes. It is very possible but it will definitely take me a lot of effort to sit down and just focus.

Well, I have done pretty well for my AD essay assignment. 80/100!!! Thank God for that. Although it is not the highest in the class, I shall be contented. And I learnt a few things from my essay too. Seems like I am more prone to the Applied Drama aspect of my course. Psychology may be a bit challenging to study for...especially the up and coming exams. Short answer questions and essay questions are not my best point when it comes to assessments. Well, gotta memorise my monologue for voice. I can do it.

Sigh, personal rants...I'm starting to feel sick of myself. I am reverting to the showy, arrogant part of me. And it really makes me sick, but I can't seem to just stop myself without appearing anti social. Sometimes things just get so awkward, silence may be the only thing you want...yet there is a burning desire to break that silence just cuz everyone else is to be cheerful and joyous. I feel like an individual, who wants to stand out from the crowd. Yet, the crowd doesn't accept individuals. They accept those who conform to expectations, then out of the crowd individuals will become popular. But not a single popular person, is ever truly who you think they are...isn't it? Well, loving people...the word love does ring a bell now. Jesus loves me. God loves me. But do I really know how to love? I like people. Doesn't say that I love them. I just like company. I like fun. I like a social life. I want to care. Then there's that pause. It looks back and you and then quietly rebukes you. "Who cares? Why care?" It'll say. Then we'll look for the answer to that question. But there will never be the right answer, or the perfect answer. In the end, we do it simply out of...perhaps a moral obligation. Who do you look out for in a group photo? Answer is, you.

Today, I helped Ee Seuu and her VC group do their project. Woke up at 7am to go meet them in school. It was a good photoshoot I guess. We got it wrapped up by 12pm. I like how the red bridge is just asthetically appealing to the eye, yet has so many hazards...


Good perspective drawing reference huh?

After that I got some rest at home and went to go meet most of DADP 01 @ Vivo to go for Vaanie's b'day party. It was a great party. We had some complications but in the end everyone managed to have their share of fun. (: The tongue is a vicious and deadly poison, yet I simply let it flow. I need to hold my tongue. Haha, and the air was filled with music, energy, romance and barbeque smoke. It was a good night out and DADP 01, or at least those who went really bonded I guess. Sometimes, being happy doesn't mean you have to always be part of the "fun"...


The night sea.

"I kinda wished you were there to see it with me."

And let me end of this post with.....

HAPPY ELEGANT 18th VAANIE!!!!!
Be a nice zebra to us now. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D