I'm sleep deprived, broke, high on self induced dopamine release and thinking about other people's self destructive behaviours. Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed...quite the opposite actually. But when you don't have money in your wallet and bank account, this is how I deal with having to starve. Lol, anyway the reason why I'm broke is cuz I got myself some new (old) headphones.

Know the brand?

Hahah, well I had a standard 8am - 5pm day before I got my pretty new headphones. Well the headphones are Beats by Dr Dre Solo.



Sexy much? XD



The Monster Wire, which has a little fault hence I got it at a "steal"

The original box.

This is the reason why I'm broke. This new toy costed my $210. It is a hand me down, and the reason why I got it at such a price is because the wire has a little split in it. But I'm not fussy about it. YET. These are my first REAL headphones, that I got with my money. I like how it looks. Bought it mostly for that. Reviews say the sound is crappy and junky...I can't say I don't agree. Because honestly, I've heard headphones that produce crystal clear sounds and this is not up to that. But hey, they still look kinda sexy. And for the first time you get anything, you need to love how it looks - then get into functionality.

Naturally, I would be able to get a brand new one at $225 from Amazon.com, but as much as I am a fan of shopping on the web, I don't trust handling of goods. And THESE ARE FRAGILE!!! So I've heard. XD And sides, it is still a good feeling when I see the $490 price tag at HMV and know I got these real babies at half that. HEHEHEHEHE~ but it has left me broke. Sigh...I should stop trying too hard.

Singapore Children Society workshop is getting a bit tedious for me. I just don't feel that such school projects are a huge deal for me personally anymore. For the course, yes. For the juniors and their opportunities, yes. For the future recognition of DADP as a good diploma, yes. But not personally. I just don't feel that it is worth doing if I'm not fully invested and committed to it. I understand that kids are hard to handle, but they are not that judgemental too. I don't know my true skill level when I facilitate. So that's a bad point about doing so many repeated programmes. But I'll do my best to get the most out of this.

I might really want to venture into drama education. It seems like a viable line of work in Singapore and somehow foreigners are taking up the jobs. They don't know the culture that well. They grew up in a different land and studied in a different place. Doesn't make that much sense having foreigners teach local culture to develop Singapore's art identity. Not saying they are bad, they give a very broad skill set to us as actors and artists, but they just can't teach the "flavour" of Singapore with that much pride. Sometimes I feel that Singaporeans feel "lower" to these "ABC" theatre people because of that riff due to cultural understanding. Pro-European, Pro-US, Pro-Japanese, Pro-Korean  or Pro-China, it doesn't matter, those are rich cultures, but a culture is built from the people. Singapore's culture is turning into a wannabe culture of different mixes. :/

That aside, MACBETH SEEMS AWESOME!!! Lol, at least in rehearsals. Okay. That's it. Don't get overexcited Leroy, be professional.

~~



We should get jerseys cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It's Jealously, they can see that we've got it going on

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're OK with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I must've done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must've done something right
I must've done something right

Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe
Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're OK with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I must've done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must've done something right
I must've done something right


hehe, awesome song stuck in my head by a pretty good christian band. (: Great arrangement too. Now add that to my playlist of Unwindling Cable Car, What Are Words, Forget You and Marry Me. Damn that's a lot to learn on the guitar. AS IF MARRY ME isn't HARD ENOUGH. OMG. Train's guitarist is awesome with his sound...fingerpicking. ): Brain exercise, 1, 2, 1, 2.

I FORGOT TO BRING MY DSLR TO CHUNG CHENG FOR PHOTOS TODAY. SOMEONE SHOOT ME. ): Gonna do that next week. So I shall be awesome and stay happy. :D Should do this more.

So if you're wondering why the title is so vulgar. It is actually a nice summary of my sunday...talk about that later. (:

Friday evening was rushed as hell. 4.30pm I ran off from work, went home, packed my bag and ran off to InwardBOUND. I left at 5.15pm hoping to get there at 6pm. BUT THANKS TO BUS 40! I arrived at 6.20pm with Polly. 5 mins late. So we started to rush our make up and waited for Yi Kai to arrive (who was 30mins late? - my costume is borrowed from him)

Polly doing make up

and btw this is InwardBOUND. Lol, the full length mirror is awesome.

And this was how I looked after intensive make up.


For day 1 (Friday night) at Ulu Pandan CC.
WHOEVER SAID MAKE UP IS GLAMOUROUS, has it SO DAMN WRONG. Hahahaha, I look awesomely old like a hobo.

I look slightly younger in this one. (: (: (: (: At Nee Soon. OMFG far sia...from my house. LOL. 1 hour train ride home...meh.

this whole singlish thing is really testing my adaptability to changes in character. Lol, I had a go playing John Procter and it just fell FLAT. hahaha, but still fun anyway. (: Can't ever seem to change the fact that acting and playing is fun. <3 it.

Had lunch with Lucas and co. Not really lunch. Just hung out with them for a bit. Then went back to TAPAC for costume measurement...first time and I must say it is quite interesting. (: I GREW 1 CM TALLER! I am now 178cm. Lol, okay childish moment over. It was nice knowing that I am mostly a few cm from place to place. Went back to orchard to join Lucas and co again. Then went to *scape for soundcheck (which was quite bad) and then I rushed down to Yishun. Phew.

That's mostly TGIF and Saturday #bestdayoftheweek

Sunday was awesomely fun and tiring at the same time. Work in the morning was...uh. Refreshing? I think I'm really getting sick and tired of F&B service alrdy. Everyone is just so demanding. The hours are ungodly and you don't get to enjoy your meals when everyone else is. ): Hahaha, but it is all worth it with the colleagues who are awesomely funny.

Met Alia at 4.30pm to warm up for our show. (: Managed to pull of Honey Bee nicely with finger picking for the first 2 verses. So happy with myself for that. Hahahahaah, I'm almost awesome alrdy!!! XD Stuck around after our show to watch some of the other bands

Darren's Band

Operandi, damn cool looking band. OMG. SILENT GUITAR AND SILENT VIOLIN. XD the violin was quite echo-y during their performance though...

Back to 101 (I think? I can't remember but this band seemed to have the most fun on stage.) And I liked his guitar, looks sexily jazzy no? And it plays rock. XD

Common problem I hear in these bands is that the vocals get overlapped by the instruments. ): Sigh, I guess it is HARD to find strong vocalists who can cut through all that ruckus with their voice. No wonder the vocalist is the star of top bands that have good lyricals. :D

Hmm...after considering long and hard. I think I'll be selling my guitar to upgrade. Bye bye dear FINA solid top, you have done well but I need a plug in guitar. Looking at Maestro right now, nice warm sounds. (: BUT IT IS SGD $499. T.T And I still need a mixer if I wanna do home recordings. (Gonna loan the podcast mic from Comperes clubhouse, and gotta go for podcasting GEMs!) hehehe~

Once again, my weekend beats your weekend! Ha! I think I'm slowing going schizophrenic, but the happiest people in the world are the crazy people. :D

Work IS SO DULL!!! Lol, I'm complaining and whining. But this job has given me the chance to use photoshop more than I ever have within a week at any point in time in my life. (Well, except for the submission week for O level Arts coursework - of course there is that story about how I didn't manage to submit the final copy.) And LOADS of free time to blog everyday. (:

Oh, and I need to start reading books again. My vocab is getting smaller and my command of the english language is weakening - no thanks to the kind of characters I keep getting casted as. 1 up for type casting. That and I haven't been hosting any events over the past 2 months. Or facilitating drama workshop that often over the week. Haha, speaking of which reminds me that I have to plan my instructions for SCS workshop. More kiddies!!

As you can tell by now, I have nothing to do at work now because I've been printing passport photos since this morning and due to my efficiency, finished my work. My "supervisor" isn't here either. Making my life so much easier.

Oh OH OH! I kinda adapted this image off @laticiabongnino
  /)/)
( - .-)
(  ' '')
RABBIT!!! AWESOMESS. But her's was sitting. Mine's just chillin'.

Had rehearsal for this sunday's gig in school yesterday. WE SO MESSY. But we getting better and more awesome every time we play. (: Well, honestly that's me because I'm the one who really needs to improve. Been practising scales for a while now. Sigh, I feel like I need classes for a million things because I'm just not that artistically gifted. But for a artistically "not so gifted" kid, I'm doing pretty well. :D So we practised at Moberly, till an "audience" arrived - I think it was for the CLS FOC (just guessing cuz Eshley was there) - and they left. And after 3 songs, we decided that the mozzies at moberly were too pesky. So we went to FC 5. Wanted to practise outside, but the KARATE kidz were too distracting. So we shifted into FC 5 which was stuffy as hell. And FC 5 has such nice acoustics when it is empty. (: Learnt a bit of vocals from Alia. Yay!

GPA this sem is the best in my 2 years. Not amazing like the talented people  or the hardworkers I know from other schools and in my class. But an improvement anyway for me. (; But I'm kinda bummed to only get B+ for TiE while everyone else got an A, guess peer evaluation does speak a bit about you.

On another note, this post is really messy. I can see how I didn't score full marks for organization of arguement in CRS. XD My mind just jolts all over the place like a chipmunk of caffine, and then dies at then end of the jumping around. I think this may be a predisposition to anxiety disorder and stress? But I'm not one for self analysis for disorders, only the good stuff.

~~
The minutes before the applause. The lights, the mics and the people. None of those register. Just your breathing. The heavy, deep, warm breath the presses against your lungs; like it is the last thing you'll remember feeling before you get overwhelmed by other senses. It is the only feeling you can put a tangible "touch" to when you hear the cheers of the audience - or lack of it. The 4 steps before an elevated surface where you will be presented to the world - to be savoured, critiqued, thought about, dismissed, loved or hated. The vulnerability is incomprehensible, just as the possibilities of flying is endless.

Every performer takes those few seconds before walking on stage. It tests the intergrity of the performance. It decides if your rehearsals have been ample, if you have all the substance behind that style. It is what I live for to enjoy and endure. Those few breaths before walking into the lights.

You never live, until you die a little inside?

Toodles, for now. Gonna wait around till work looks for me.

I'm going to start off the entry by blowing off steam. I wanna communicate with my Dad, but he is just blowing everything off. Credit to him, he has changed a lot for this family. While I'm just selfish??

I AM NOT GOING TO WORK FOR FREE ANYMORE. I refuse to. This holidays will be the last time I do anything as a CHARITY job. I'll play for free. Enjoy what I do for free. But I will NOT WORK FOR FREE. This current Singapore Children's Society Project, last time I'm doing this for free without a grade attached to it. And as much as possible I want to stick to this resolution. Simply because it can be achieved. In this world there can be value to your skills, and I'm not going to be exploited as a "greenhorn" anymore. How can anyone be a "greenhorn" with a certification/diploma - unless you are working in a totally unrelated field from your course of study.

So here is my dilemma. I have to teach my brother. And it is honestly painful to teach him. Reasons, 1- I am a lousy tutor. I've tried tuition. 1 lesson. My feedback. "He SUCKS." I HATE TEACHING. FUCKING HATE IT. 2- He has ADD/ADHD. Just to add to the above problem. 3- I want to take the time to rehearse and practise other instruments that can add to my arsenal of skills as a performer. BUT NO. NO. FUCK NO. My dad is fucking pissed cuz I am selfish. I AM SELFISH. WELL, I AM 19 YEARS OLD for crying out loud. I am working my ass off to pay bills after being swindled of $2000 by an asshole and a "friend" I trusted. How's that? Not a big deal?? Okay, let's take a different approach. MY BROTHER DOESN'T FUCKING LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TEACH?! How's that for reason. And he takes 5 years to complete a 30 minutes paper. So WHAT if I am selfish, I SUCK AT TEACHING! That's why I play for a living, not sit down and teach.


Okay, I am a horrible person. I don't love my brother enough to wanna give up my dreams. Sigh. Screw dreams, I don't have much talent anyway. I'll tough it out. Guess I gotta aim to get a good GPA, take a general test. And hopefully go into a more stable 9 - 5 career without the ability to freelance, so that I am not as dreamy. Welcome to life. His future vs my dreams. I officially have a love-hate relationship with my brother. HATE him.

~~

IN OTHER NEWS, I managed to get out of the office to take a snap shot of the open smoking area.

I really want to hang out here and just play the guitar out here one day. But I don't want to hang out with the company who comes out here to smoke. They are people who are crude and rough about the mechanics of life.



I had to ferret through all this today for a thumbdrive. 1 thumbdrive. In one of these million boxes. Of course I couldn't find the thumbdrive and just asked for the hard copies of the files I was looking for. Did the tedious job of paperwork. Guess that's what I am hired for!!

Had Singapore Children's Society Rehearsals today. (: Totally awesome - not really I just felt lethargic.

I <3s this Pic. Miss the blackbox for so many reasons. One being that it is a REALLY NICE SPACE to work in. Apart from the muskiness of the room when the aircon is off.

Lol @cestlavie17...she hijacked my twitter on my iphone. ):

MS WEE!!!!!! OMG UNGLAM SHOT. :P



TEH BELLZ.

lep's huge legs and how tall she is...O.O

Facilitating. BEEN A LONG TIME...

Chillax...

Performing this Sunday, I'm feeling the heebie jeebies alrdy. Cuz it is at *scape. High popularity venue. And I'm a half baked guitarist. NERVOUS AS HELL PLEASE. ): I hope the band after is good...so it can redeem the show or make it a lot better (if I play well. Which I will!!)

Back to practise.

So this video has been the talk of the town lately. WHY?

BECAUSE SETH ROGEN INSULTED SINGAPORE!!! OH NO, HE SHOULD BE DETAINED AND CANED AND ARRESTED. Oh please, just because he is ignorant doesn't mean he is mean. (Oops!) In case you live in a cave or totally do not appreciate american humour, Seth Rogen is this comedian who does stand up comedy featuring in films like Fanboy, Funny People and The Green Hornet. So he was in Singapore to sell the Green Hornet and this was his take on it in the Conan O' Brian show. It is America, he is Canadian...2 birds with one stones. Conan O' Brian isn't exactly a sensible show host, he is a man who pulls out sensationalism and if it comes with Seth Rogen's combo of laughing at a little island that few people in America have been to...so be it. It is money to them, and cheap entertainment. I wish I could say that USA was ignorant. But this time, Canada has stepped up to the plate too. And by ignorant, I don't mean the facts. Hell, the facts were funny. They are true and we, in Singapore, talk about them all the time. Who hasn't heard complains about PAP, gums and the fact that people just go "so far so good"? But no, Seth did it without making the edge of being funny. XD This is kind of like the time when he was rejected by Megan Fox, when he wanted to give that "obligatory" kiss on the cheek to greet her. LOL...

Look at the comments when you get there! Malaysians and Singaporeans fighting over which country is better and people going "YEA SINGAPORE SUCKS!" along with retards who can't spell to save their lives. Uh...I get that Singapore is not the best place in the world and this comment is relevant, but what does a youtube comment achieve? (Apart from being mentioned in a blog as ANON) This whole Malaysia/Singapore rivalry, is plain dumb - as mentioned a Caucasian is insulting an Asian country and here we are fighting over which Asian country is better.(Now, I can't see why colonel-ism took place in our past. Could it be due to the fact that the West was able to NOT ARGUE OVER EVERY DAMN THING??) Singapork? Srsly? If we were pork the whole damn peninsular can take a step back up north. Talk about immature.

~~
On to other news, I need to get myself some new pants. Jeans are getting boring for me...at least the ones I have. I WANT NEW CLOTHES!!! ):

I can't go for dance lessons this holidays, and I'm pretty bummed about it because I really wanted to challenge myself and also get fit this holidays. ): SUXXXX. But on the bright side, I seem to have a lot of things to occupy myself with during the holidays along with brilliant people from other walks of life. I need to break out of my introvert phase and get back to being the extroverted Leroy that I kinda was like last year? At least at the start of it. Hehe~

Shh...

The weekends are over and now it is back to that LONG wait till the next one arrives. Lots to do within this week though. Totally excited for what's about to happen, but I wonder abt the relevance when the time comes.


CHINA MAN SLEEPING IN TRAIN.

I'm too lazy to post this on STOMP. LOL. But yea, we have too many cases of this happening in Singapore. Sharon saw this too and wanted to laugh, "I feel like laughing but damn paiseh." - Sharon (well, I may have paraphrased it) I went HA HA at the guy and he was sound sleeping. So I decided to take a photo of the guy anyway, cuz the former lady was too paiseh also. But apparently the story goes - after I alighted at Dhouby Ghaut - that 4 officers went into the train at AMK and woke this guy up. EPIC.

In the spirit of STOMP, this man was so inconsiderate - sleeping fully spread on the MRT seats, with one shoe off in the middle of the afternoon when human traffic is at it's peak on a Saturday. With no consideration to the locals of our community, this foreigner has disrespected the public by pulling off such a stint on a public transport.
"Are foreigners really that tired after work?" - Anon
"This is the reason why they should ban foreigners from riding on public transport" - Anon.
Hahah, I hope that captures the spirit of Citizen Journalism as interpreted by the Citizens of this Republic. (:

I had a nice picnic following this affair on the MRT.

At...

(Photos are not mine...so...yea. Props to whoever got them - I snitched.)
Had potato salad that was home made, awesome bacon and egg combo...but very VERY very filling, within a very short amount of time. (:

It kept raining and shining then raining again. Honestly, the weather man is damn fickle nowadays. It didn't dampen the mood, but we ended up picnicking in those domes. That are really, memorials that I think are overlooked in functionality. It is really nice and cool inside too when raining, apart from making the mat slightly wet - causing people like me who are immensely sizable to get wet. I went to work with wet jeans, how uncomfortable. ERGH. Which reminds me, work on Saturday night can kill.

Sunday was dead. Apart from a project meeting with Frederick, Rahul Shah and co. I learnt quite a bit about organizational structure and how chains of instructions should work within a crisis scenario. Along with effective management. Hot damn, talk about effective time used.

My weekend beats your weekend. Hehe~toodles, time for work.

Time check. Somewhere past 1 pm.

I'm at work. Well, it is called work - just, I'm not really working. This is evidence of it.

The office I'm working at just shifted! (: How exciting right?! There's a catch - it shifted 1 level down. ONE. LEVEL. DOWN. But it is a lot bigger and nicer than the initial office, so I'm happy with that. (: More space to make a mess for the day before I leave!!! Pink folders, blue ring files, grey laptops, yellow walls, black furnitures...talk about a myriad of colours. Doesn't uplift any mood though, it just disorientates. As if the work isn't enough to make you lost all sense of time and direction. @.@


My work station...Hehe, pretty awesome for now.

The "department" size. LOL...

Main office "atrium".

The devastation after lunch. $600 worth of KFC and Pizza Hut food.

So anyway, I'm labelling cupboards and doing administrative/archival filing. I have no idea how librarians and archive organizers (whatever you call those guys who do achiving and storage of old informations) do it on a daily basis. It is so mundane and just pushes your memory to the limits. Speaking of memories, I think my face to name recognition has been improving with practise -relative to the initial level of name memory I had, which was near to nil - YAY!

There is a little balcony area just outside my workspace. Will explore that area soon. Looks like a cool place to chill out at. Hehe~

Some issues have come up, it is a lousy surprise for work. I don't wanna jeopardize my Drama in Education credibility before I even go full time with it. Bad bad new. ): That aside, I'm pretty stoked for the next few weeks with Young Co. It should be quite interesting and I'll look forward to a fun learning process.

MLM is back to haunt me too. Seems like LFI has a new mobile system. PPure has a lot of new promotees. And I honestly don't care at all. I was curious and inquisitive when I went into this. I guess what I am looking for is closure, which isn't going to come until my bills are all paid. As much as the money is attractive, the rationale and goals behind it is very driven by the practical greed of youths who want to succeed. It comes at the cost of giving up dreams? Giving up soul? I'm not a philosopher of any good, but I'm pretty sure the soul of a person can be sold at a price. I've seen it happen with this. There are good people, there are horrible people, there are apathatic people in the industry...but the luck of anyone's draw is pretty hard. Everyone is driven by greed. There is no benefit in being driven in merit. That's what the economy has been teaching till date. That's just how it is right now. Just sayin'.



DO WANT!!! Hahah, the Taylor T5 electro-acoustic electric guitar. :D :D Oh the so many wins to it. But mostly cuz it looks so damn SEXY. Hahaha, esp the cherry red. (The tabacco sunburst reminds me of Slash's les paul too, just less hardcore.) They look so nice...the price is WAYYY nice too. XD Oh well, work for another 6 months, I just might get myself one of these. But given the luck I have, I doubt it. :P Gonna go back to practising my fingerpicking. Lalala~~ Honey Bee.


~~

All this talking to you.
I don't know what I'm to do;
I don't know where you stand.
What's inside of your head.

All this thinking of you.
Is that what you're doing to?
You're always on my mind,
I talk about you all the time.

I am still wondering why I did that. Hahaha, but it was fun. The ride was not the most memorable adrenaline junkie moments for me. But it did give me quite the adrenaline rush. I wish it spun more though...too heavy. Lol, TIME TO CUT THE FATS!!

My weekend has been pretty awesome. With Young Co. back in the swing, rehearsals with Alia for this month's gig (nervous as hell please- I am going to practice my fingers off), G-max with The Bucket List club (a young Caucasian girl and Jacinta to be precise - all cuz Fred ditched us and went first)and a very awesome Sunday with family & bros.

So anyway, this whole bucket list thing is bothering me. I don't have a bucket list and I don't see the hype in having one, but if it gives me discounts to feel the adrenaline junkie in me - I'm up for it.

Found some old photos of when I headed down to Clarke Quay with my family, it was during the Christmas season if I am not mistaken. With all the lights and the shimmery reflection in the river waters, with the night hiding all the gunk and junk that's within it.


I'm pretty proud of this jumpshot if I could say so myself. :P Of course, my brother is the epic cannonball of a model as always.


More of him and his antics...


He figures anything with a structural plan strong enough to hold him is probably worth the climb...Jeez.


Aunt, Mom, Bro and I with my Dad at the camera. The focus, is of course on the Fullerton, which is the most interesting thing in the picture anyway. Thanks Dad. Really. _-_


And my brother demonstrates his lack of ability to pay attention for a time span of more than 15 seconds - after that he runs off or, in this case, falls asleep. Amazing.

As for more up-to-date photos. We went kite flying yesterday afternoon, in the hot blistering sun. Where, after 1 hour of tugging and pulling at a piece of string attached to a plastic triangle, I get sun burnt. So now, I look like a lobster and feel like a pin cushion with a rash.

Here's my dad, alrdy flying the kite in under 5 mins.


That's how big the kite actually looks from ground level. A little more than a speck.

My brother with his kite flying dance




And me, trying to fight the wind and making sure the kite didn't tangle with another.




And...the obligatory scenic shot of the view from Marina Barrage, because it is just so QUEER.



Dave

Game

Let my introduce you to my brother's new lovely pets. HAMSTERS. Dave the boy and Game the girl. As named by my brother. These are the liveliest hamsters I've every seen in my 19 years, running around and licking people's fingers (only if you just washed your hands and still have water on them). And they are potty trained too, awesome or what?! They are oh so cute, but I am willing to bet that my brother will make them cannibalize when they multiply, he is just that kinda kid. :/

Well, that's all folks! (:

As for now, I shall resume trying to learn Honey Bee by Zee Avi on the guitar the way she plays it. Totally baffles me how she can sing and play that at the same time. But I guess if you come up with the tune, you'd probably know how to play it from the start alrdy. Cheerios!