I'm going to start off the entry by blowing off steam. I wanna communicate with my Dad, but he is just blowing everything off. Credit to him, he has changed a lot for this family. While I'm just selfish??

I AM NOT GOING TO WORK FOR FREE ANYMORE. I refuse to. This holidays will be the last time I do anything as a CHARITY job. I'll play for free. Enjoy what I do for free. But I will NOT WORK FOR FREE. This current Singapore Children's Society Project, last time I'm doing this for free without a grade attached to it. And as much as possible I want to stick to this resolution. Simply because it can be achieved. In this world there can be value to your skills, and I'm not going to be exploited as a "greenhorn" anymore. How can anyone be a "greenhorn" with a certification/diploma - unless you are working in a totally unrelated field from your course of study.

So here is my dilemma. I have to teach my brother. And it is honestly painful to teach him. Reasons, 1- I am a lousy tutor. I've tried tuition. 1 lesson. My feedback. "He SUCKS." I HATE TEACHING. FUCKING HATE IT. 2- He has ADD/ADHD. Just to add to the above problem. 3- I want to take the time to rehearse and practise other instruments that can add to my arsenal of skills as a performer. BUT NO. NO. FUCK NO. My dad is fucking pissed cuz I am selfish. I AM SELFISH. WELL, I AM 19 YEARS OLD for crying out loud. I am working my ass off to pay bills after being swindled of $2000 by an asshole and a "friend" I trusted. How's that? Not a big deal?? Okay, let's take a different approach. MY BROTHER DOESN'T FUCKING LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TEACH?! How's that for reason. And he takes 5 years to complete a 30 minutes paper. So WHAT if I am selfish, I SUCK AT TEACHING! That's why I play for a living, not sit down and teach.


Okay, I am a horrible person. I don't love my brother enough to wanna give up my dreams. Sigh. Screw dreams, I don't have much talent anyway. I'll tough it out. Guess I gotta aim to get a good GPA, take a general test. And hopefully go into a more stable 9 - 5 career without the ability to freelance, so that I am not as dreamy. Welcome to life. His future vs my dreams. I officially have a love-hate relationship with my brother. HATE him.

~~

IN OTHER NEWS, I managed to get out of the office to take a snap shot of the open smoking area.

I really want to hang out here and just play the guitar out here one day. But I don't want to hang out with the company who comes out here to smoke. They are people who are crude and rough about the mechanics of life.



I had to ferret through all this today for a thumbdrive. 1 thumbdrive. In one of these million boxes. Of course I couldn't find the thumbdrive and just asked for the hard copies of the files I was looking for. Did the tedious job of paperwork. Guess that's what I am hired for!!

Had Singapore Children's Society Rehearsals today. (: Totally awesome - not really I just felt lethargic.

I <3s this Pic. Miss the blackbox for so many reasons. One being that it is a REALLY NICE SPACE to work in. Apart from the muskiness of the room when the aircon is off.

Lol @cestlavie17...she hijacked my twitter on my iphone. ):

MS WEE!!!!!! OMG UNGLAM SHOT. :P



TEH BELLZ.

lep's huge legs and how tall she is...O.O

Facilitating. BEEN A LONG TIME...

Chillax...

Performing this Sunday, I'm feeling the heebie jeebies alrdy. Cuz it is at *scape. High popularity venue. And I'm a half baked guitarist. NERVOUS AS HELL PLEASE. ): I hope the band after is good...so it can redeem the show or make it a lot better (if I play well. Which I will!!)

Back to practise.