//Here I stand. I'm the light of the world. I feel grand. All this love, I can feel and I know - yea for sure it is real. - This is It.//



We've got to where we are thanks to the work we have been willing to put in. I don't think we ever thought we'd get this far with such ease against our self-limiting barriers. Tomorrow is the last day, and we will be presenting a gift of the arts to the boys.

"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is tied up with mine, then let us work together."- Lilla Watson.

This quote has been the corner stone for my practice this whole semester as it seems. I definitely need to learn more about working with communities and people, with a fresh viewpoint and a willingness to learn from the disempowered & be criticized by those who are empowered. It has been refreshing working with the boys and its been the first time since I enjoyed doing what I do in school.

~~
I'm riding another wave up. Just got out of a slump. It is tough, fighting depressive thoughts and having to cope with daily life. It is just hard to get out of the state of inertia and be enthusiastic. So I promise myself right now, to constantly work towards attaining happiness in the moment of NOW in life. Leave the negative behind, drop the listless spirit and just be spontaneous. I NEED TO LEARN TO HAVE FUN!!! :D


I missed a moment. I don't want to live to regret that moment. I'll take it the next time it comes by. But now, I'm not so sure. Fear beat me once, just this once.

I. Love. You.

Or I foolishly think I do. So much to learn from life everyday. Carpe Diem!

The very last Mac Ads.

Today has been riddled with frustrations over my hard drive. Damn thing doesn't work like a thumb drive and the files can't be read on my PC now that it has Mac files on it. Damn this shit.

Argh. All this angst. Gonna play it all out. ):

//I've been dreaming of dueling & chariot racing
Fighting for the feeling; that is bursting at its seams.//

//We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

sleep well(x4)

You have stolen
You have stolen
You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my
You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart//


It has been one heck of a week starting from the holidays. SDEA conference has been a blast. Followed by YES 2011 @ SP Biz School for the secondary school students. Clearing up collateral damage and losing laptops. Man...I'm lucky to have survived. (:

SDEA's Theatre Arts Conference has definitely renewed my love for the work I do once again. Giving me new insights into the field of work. I do admit I lack creation in the world I do, that's why it gets dull. That's where theatre comes in, my desire to just have fun and walk in the shoes of another character. :D

Been working on a few alternative sources of income. Got myself a spot with Powow.sg which is a youth founded, Singapore-based interest group company. Sound like a fun thing to do on the side, along with gigs and other work. Definitely looking to get myself out there as a freelancer.

On other news. YES 2011 @ SP Biz School made me miss SPARC-Comperes camp!!! ): Le sigh. But then again, I'm getting too unfit for camps now. No more camp cheer in me... BUT Hosting YES 2011 was definitely FUN as hell. Met old secondary school teacher & friend, Michael See, and of course had fun in the process of hosting the event. :D

BUT, I lost my laptop. After I did my first 6 slides of CDI. FML. And my current laptop doesn't have microsoft office. GG. Sigh. But here is a look at my new laptop now...
 


Yes, it is an ASUS. (: I was torn between this and MBP. But I couldn't get the Mac cuz I have 1 year left in Poly, I am paying for this laptop & I can't sacrifice the desire to game on my laptop. Perhaps after NS I'll be a full Apple follower.

Life's been simple. I appreciate it. A lot. Time's up. Game face. Lets make this thing happen.

//Dreams are worth fighting for, but if you are not willing to risk getting hurt - you'll never get what you can reach.//

Half of my Heart

//I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
trying my best to understand all that your love can bring

oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
half of my heart takes time
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)
oh, with half of my heart



I was made to believe i'd never love somebody else
I made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself
lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came
Showing me another way and all that my love can bring

oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
half of my heart takes time
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)
oh, with half of my heart
with half of my heart

your faith is strong
but I can only fall short for so long
Down the road, later on
you will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart
but I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you [x3]
but I can't stop loving you with half of my...

half of my heart
half of my heart

half of my heart's got a real good imagination
half of my heart's got you
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that half of my heart won't do

half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring
And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything

half of my heart [x6] //

The Heart believes in Romance. The Mind believes in Logic. The Body believes in Sensations.

I want to get back to my love for the dramatic arts. There is so much jargon in my head. Articles, thesis-es & guidelines that define what theatre and arts means. In applied drama, dramatic tools are used to serve particular educational, social or therapeutic objectives – performance is not the objective. Yet, we can't let go of the notion of performance. I like to think of performance in its whole definition. Performance can mean, lights, camera, action with all that jazz. Performance could also be referred to as the measurable efficiency of a person in a certain role. Performance as a student would be the grades. GPa.


Singapore Polytechnic. School of Communications, Arts and Social Sciences. Diploma in Applied Drama and Psychology. The prided "Drama Practitioners" of the future. I personally believe that the people who undertake the path down this course, have pure intentions and want to do good for society. But the course structure, as a polytechnic curriculum - which is far from rooted in liberal arts, it skewers and twists the intentions of students. We end up being cut throat for project work and the grades take precedence over the meaning of the work. Groupings are still an issue. Honestly, IN THE WORK WE DO - you have problems working with people who want to eventually do the same work with you? Your colleagues? So what if we have all the dramatic theory within us? So what if we can explain Theatre of the Oppressed, Process Drama and Community Theatre with our eyes closed (and score an A for it)? So WHAT?


"the method was developed for the people, but the people are more important than the method." - Augusto Boal (I kinda paraphrased it the way I remembered it.)


So we have learnt the method, but we lost the people. DADP has that habit. Putting a grade to all the work we do as drama practitioners makes us lose the core that drove us in the first place. Naive people who believed that everything in the world follows a dogmatic tag of morals, have learnt that through drama you can accept people because fundamentally we are individuals with similarities. Then in an instant, they turn around and start judging those who sleep around and those who commit sins. Drama and the Bible are on two different dimensions all together. Believe in your dogma (the Bible) but practise the Drama, and you will not be swayed but be accepting of those who want to be accepted.


I personally find it hard to journal. A journal is suppose to be a track of your thoughts from day to day activities. But it usually turns out as a record of what happens throughout the day...and we have a programme sheet in a booklet. So at this point, this is a challenge to myself to keep my journal as concise and to the point as possible as a place of honest opinions and beliefs that may develop and change over time.


"If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time.But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." - Lilla Watson. (credits to Dr Christina Marin who shared it)


Truly one of the most relevant quotes in the work we do. I just felt that this is something I need to get down on. No one should walk into another person's life to "HELP" the other person without being willing to put him/herself on the line to help him/herself too. We are not Gods, we are people. I am scared of the work I do, but I want to have fun on it too.


~~
I believe in
removing bolts from cages,
releasing hooks from lines,
breaking locks with watch hammers,
opening doors to possibilities.


But I can't arrest the police in your mind.
~~
Lo siento, pero te quiero.