I can't get sleep now.

Well, it isn't the first time this has happened.

Someone in a distant past remembers this dialogue.

In my past.

I thought I'd grown a spine through my time alone. Opinions and thoughts that were now stronger and more justified than before because they were always verifiable truths that I knew as a fact. A truth is really an opinion. And opinions are mini-truths about something until there is a majority - then it grows into a fact. But even facts are flawed. Still as gutless and brainless as ever. Yet I wouldn't deny this or demand that I be somewhere else.


You asked if I'd blog about you. Here's the answer.

On my birthday, I met a stranger. A couple of people whose names I knew and never thought would get to know better. Because on my birthday, I was at auditions. To Army Daze, which I'd go on to get through then get pulled out. (long story for another day). I meet her. A short conversation about people dancing. No more than 5 lines flies between us. Goodbye for the day. Disappear for the weekend. Facebook. Add new friends. Say thanks. Message. Get number. Dinner. Find out about mutual friends.

Fuck.

I like her. I honestly do. I haven't fallen so hard for anyone so quickly before. It is all quite a bit to take in. Work/life/romance separation. It is tough. I am bad with handling those situations. Then you have nosey parkers who impose their opinions on your relationships by spreading over exaggerated versions of what they see. I wanna avoid that. I don't need this to affect other friendships that are on the rocks too. I am honestly insecure, can't hide that anymore I suppose. I'm still rather spineless. Need to man up eh? But any other group of friends, separate from nosey parkers - I'll be proud of it, honest.

Someone told me. "Rules are meant to be broken." I have broken the rule between us, I'm not sorry about it. I'm only human after all.