The Typ...
"Everybody needs a place. It shouldn't be inside someone else." - Richard Siken
The Type by Sarah Kay If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at,
You can let them look at you.
But do not mistake eyes for hands,
Or windows for mirrors.
Let them see what a woman looks like.
They may not have ever seen one before.
If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch,
You can let them touch you.
Sometimes it is not you they are reaching for.
Sometimes it is a bottle, a door, a sandwich, a Pulitzer, another woman -
But their hands found you first.
Do not mistake yourself for a guardian, or a muse, or a promise, or a victim or a snack.
You are a woman -
Skin and bones, veins and nerves, hair and sweat
You are not made of metaphors,
Not apologies, not excuses.
If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold,
You can let them hold you.
All day they practice keeping their bodies upright.
Even after all this evolving it still feels unnatural,
Still strains the muscles, holds firm the arms and spine.
Only some men will want to learn what it feels like to curl themselves into a question mark around you,
Admit they don’t have the answers they thought they would by now.
Some men will want to hold you like the answer.
You are not the answer.
You are not the problem.
You are not the poem, or the punchline, or the riddle, or the joke.
Woman, if you grow up the type of woman men want to love,
You can let them love you.
Being loved is not the same thing as loving.
When you fall in love,
It is discovering the ocean after years of puddle jumping.
It is realising you have hands.
It is reaching for the tightrope after the crowds have all gone home.
Do not spend time wondering if you are the type of woman men will hurt.
If he leaves you with a car alarm heart.
You learn to sing along.
It is hard to stop loving the ocean,
Even after it’s left you gasping, salty.
So forgive yourself for the decisions you’ve made,
The ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night,
And know this.
Know you are the type of woman who is searching for a place to call yours.
Let the statues crumble.
You have always been the place.
You are a woman who can build it yourself.
You are born to build.
For you.
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I guess this is where acceptance of reality sinks in.
It will be one-sided and will continue to be so indefinitely.
Born in the wrong era, acting upon the wrong time, yet everything felt so right, so real and so immersive. "I'm not hungry, lets have dinner."
But at the end of the day, I am human. I need to forgive myself and carry out the work that I need to do. I will not repress or suppress, there is nothing to defend against. Anxiety, after all is an experience on its own.
We will either die heroes, or live long enough to see ourselves turn into villains.
So much more to sort out and process. To clean up and make clear - so that I know the answer to the fundamental question.
Who am I?
And so it stands, I've learnt to feel, taste, look, listen and smell once again. There is my own list of things to thank you for.
I've fallen. But this is a fall forward, to stand up, dust off and keep walking - until perhaps one day, our paths cross again so that we may be something more. Maybe. Or Mayhaps.
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A Dangerous Method.
There is so much more to find out and see in the current field of psychology. It'll be hardly fair to miss all the fun! :D